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Here's another installment in our Friday Fantasies series. Naughty Bacchus is hoping to provide advice and a few lurid tales to excite you. Today, we address the basics.
In spite of recent research that tells us it's perfectly normal, healthy even, to engage in sexual fantasies, many people bury or ignore what makes them feel good. The result, they say, can be an unfulfilling sex life.
Many fantasies are fueled by alcohol. While it may be easier to submit, dominate or role play while slightly inebriated, alcohol can hinder other aspects of sex. Sometimes living out your fantasy takes full sobriety. But first you have to approach the matter with your partner.
How do you reveal your most private erotic fantasies to your partner?
Feeling stumped? Here are some easy prompts to get you started:
- “You know what sounds really hot to me?”
- “There’s this thing I’ve always wanted to try, but I’ve been waiting until I found the right person.”
- “I would love to see you doing...”
- “What did you fantasize about when you were a teenager?”
- “Have you ever thought about doing...”
- “I saw this movie that had a scene where the actors were doing... Would you ever do something like that?”
- “How do you feel about...”
- “I’m not sure I’d actually like this, but I’ve always been a little curious about trying...”
Even if the thought of sharing your fantasy has got you stressed, remember that his/their reaction to your disclosure says a lot about whether he's/they're worthy of your time and affection. Do they treat your fantasy with respect? Do they listen to you without judgment? Are they willing to at least consider your request? Sharing your fantasies is a great way to gauge your long-term compatibility with someone. Plus, according to StatisticBrain.com two of the top 10 most common New Year's resolutions are "enjoy life to the fullest" and "help others with their dreams."
If they're non-receptive that could be a hint as to your current and future compatibility. Work something out whether it's a 'one request for him/one granted for you' deal or a discussion about inviting someone new into the relationship. Be creative.
The Advocate published a list of 39 Role-Play Fantasies Every Gay Couple Should Try