How do you define sexy?
Is it the guy behind the bar at Bacchus serving you up a $6 Absolut cocktail every Friday? Is it the man sitting on the bench with his friends with the wry smile and pretty green eyes? Is it the DJ with the headphones playfully and confidently bouncing to the beat? Sure, we all know what we like, but how do we define it? Here's how we break it down:
Truly sexy people are comfortable in their own skin.
Simply put, it means accepting yourself for how you are rather than how you want to be. It doesn’t mean, “I’ll love myself once I lose 10 lbs” or “I’ll love myself once others tell me that I am lovable.” Sexy people don’t need or want anyone’s permission to accept themselves, and the rest of us shouldn’t either. If we do wait, there’s a good chance it’s never going to happen.
They don’t put others down including themselves.
In my experience, one of the least sexy things anyone can do is build themselves up by tearing themselves or others down.
Granted, I’m sure the sexy man is aware of his physical shortcomings just like the rest of us, but he doesn’t feel the need to point them out. He was even confident enough to post shirtless pictures of himself on social media sites which again suggested he was at ease with himself.
They are smart.
People may lust over “perfect” models or celebrities but the reality is no matter how much we lust for someone, even if we get them we’re eventually going to have to have a conversation.
Smartness is sexiness, and one doesn’t have to be a tenured professor at Harvard to be smart. Smartness is one of those things that can be cultivated.
In many cases, just having an interest or passion for something can be enough. At the very least, it shows that one is thinking about something other than themselves and that is sexy.
They are genuine.
Genuine doesn’t mean being nice all the time. It doesn’t mean never showing ours flaw or admitting that certain people or things irritate us. There is something extremely sexy about being able to show ourselves as the flawed, complex beings that we are and not worrying if it repels others.