An Apology

To keep our business solvent and in accordance with our settlement terms with the Alcohol Board of the City and County of Honolulu, on the first day of the month after Injunction 17-659A9N was levied, we must make public the following (Exhibit A terms enlarged below in bullet form):

  • On, or around the date of August 11, 2016, an illegal establishment (hereforth known as "The Speakeasy") was built on the premises of 408-2 Lewers Street in the area beneath and adjacent to Bacchus Waikiki between the premise's garage and ABC Store.
Image of The Speakeasy at 408 Lewers Street taken by Honolulu Police, March 22, 2017.
  • The Speakeasy is accessible through one of two entrances. The first via a stairway located through a door in the second floor hallway adjacent to the ladies room shared between Siam Square Thai Restaurant and Bacchus Waikiki. The second entrance passes through the rear of the building through a seamless door in the back of a walk-in cooler. These two entrances are in violation of City and County of Honolulu Building Access Codes T-935b, T986, T987, T993, T994 and T997. All access to a place of business must be accessible during operating hours at all times. See Exhibit B.
  • The speakeasy existed as a non-registered private club offering free alcohol to members. Violation of City Permit U774b-h.
  • While no evidence was collected of alcohol being served to minors, video surveillance revealed the daily presence of a 3 year old boy, the son of an ABC Store Assistant Manager and his use of potentially toxic crayons to color images of Bacchus bar staff. Illegal Daycare Operation, Honolulu E.V.R.C. 801-8364. Potential Toxic Substance Exposure, HYDTV 78-223810.
    See Exhibit C.
  • A 2,000 lb. DJ "coccoon" suspended from the ceiling using 10pt wire was in violation of Honolulu Building Codes HGTV90, NATGEO692 and VH1RPDR.

Bacchus had worked out a settlement with Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Tom Collins, where the company would plead no contest to the violations and accept a payment of $135,500 for being so fucking stealthy and cool. But, under the agreement, Bacchus would be required to collect just $2,500 annually for the next 54 years and the balance would be forgiven after 53 years if Bacchus had similar violations in 2018.

Bacchus would like to apologize for keeping the club a secret. We would also like to thank the City and County for agreeing to the following:

The Speakeasy will not be closed. Instead, to make amends to the community and the Alcohol Board, the room is now open to the public, daily from 12:00AM to midnight. No membership requirements are allowed.

  • All customers must enter and exit through the stairwell located in the hallway adjacent to the ladies room.
  • All cocktails will be free of charge during this the hours of 12:00AM and midnight in the Speakeasy venue only.
  • Only DJs approved by the Honolulu Chief of Police will be allowed to spin in the coccoon.
  • The sauna, steam room three private shower stalls shall be made available to patrons of Bacchus Waikiki who pay an annual fee of $599. These new "members" will not be charged for additional amenitites.

Three Honolulu Star Advertiser reporters have been interviewing neighbors and a photographer has been taking photos at/near Bacchus this past week. If you see them around, please say nice things about us. Ever the zenith of hard-hitting investigative journalism, the newspaper will be running a story about The Speakeasy and the city code violations, but might make the story about themselves.

Bacchus owners Barker, Blatt and Boe had no comment other than to say, in unison, "Who told?!"

Blatt was quick to point out, "Wang Chung's has a sliding door to their secret back room and their glass hanging art has probably violated someone. What's so wrong about our secret club? And what's a Ginberry anyway? Definitely something cookin' there. And isn't every room at that place on Seaside a secret room? Who singled us out for this injunction?"

The Honolulu Police would not divulge the source of the hotline tip, but added that they were always suspicious and were glad to confirm its existence. They had never been invited to enter and they feel like April Fools. Just like some of you who got this far and believed this.

Let Bacchus be your Speakeasy, you can put your feet up, grab a beverage from the bartender, and socialize with the regulars. Gab, share recipes, share news, rage about your problems or the problems of the world, discuss impending vacations, share book recommendations, talk about your jobs and your families, your hopes and dreams, and pretty much anything else you want. DJ Takai spins tonight at 10PM. Never a cover.

Everyone is welcome, just be kind to one another.